Avoiding Abusive Relationships

General Relationship Discussion Abusive Relationships Avoiding Abusive Relationships

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      Something that happens all too often these days is the rise of abusive relationships. They’ve always been inexistence, but many years ago, people didn’t discuss them. Once you were married, you were married for better or worse. Too many times it was, indeed, the death of one of the spouses that parted them. It was the reason for the death that made the situation so outrageous and so sad.

      It’s better if these types of relationships are never begun. Believe it or not, there are ways to avoid ever becoming a part of one. Granted, you can’t always tell if you’re getting involved with a lunatic. Many times they hide it very effectively until they have you firmly under their control. That’s when you’ll see their true colors. However, there are nearly always some kinks in their carefully constructed armor that you can spot if you let yourself see it.

      The first thing you’ll probably notice is a control issue. This typically comes into play a little at a time. It may surface the first time when you’re dressing to go out and she subtly suggests that a different outfit looks much better on you, or that SHE prefers you in the red dress rather than the black one. If you give into that one, she’ll do it over and over again. You may not notice that first control trick but you should definitely pay attention if she starts to dictate your wardrobe all the time.

      Another thing that is also a control technique is when she starts trying to slowly isolate you from your family and friends. She’s usually smart enough to keep this to a minimum and use little things that keep you from realizing what her actual plan is. It may be something like telling you that she has a feeling that your parents, sister or your best friend doesn’t really like her. Even though you haven’t noticed anything yourself, when you care enough about someone you don’t want to believe that they’re lying to you. So you accept it as fact and put yourself on alert when you’re around the people that have been accused of not liking her.

      Most likely, no one has ever said or done anything to make this girl think they don’t like her. She’s just trying to plant enough doubt in your head that you’ll believe only her and stay away from those people that “don’t like” her. This gets you right where she wants you: isolated and unprotected from whatever she may do to you next.

      When you see these danger signs, it’s time to run, not walk, as fast and far as you can away from this woman. It’s only going to get worse the longer you stay. The worst thing you can do is continue to stay involved with her under the impression that you can change her. That’s never going to happen. Things will only get worse the longer you stay. When you see any of these signs, it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

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